I had my first child at a very young age. Nineteen, to be exact. I turned nineteen two months before having my baby girl. While I always knew I wanted children and wanted to have them relatively young, I never imagined I would still be a baby myself when it happened. I was still finding myself. Still exploring what adulthood would look like for me when I found myself tasked with raising children. But we’re making it. Dare I say thriving (yes, I cringed when I wrote that word too..) But it’s true. Once I grasped that motherhood, no matter your age, is difficult, I began to give myself some grace as I made mistakes, especially when I felt incapable of raising these children. Mama, if God gave you these children, you are more than capable of giving them everything they need. Let that sink in…
Three Powerful Truths I’m Learning As a Young Mom
- Experience Matters
- Sacrifices Are Hard But Necessary
- Staying Connected is Essential
Experience Matters
One of the most common comments we hear as young moms is: “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.” If you’re anything like me, you may have taken a little offense to this comment because what you heard was, “You are going to fail because you have no experience.” This is what I heard and even began to believe. It wasn’t until I was taking a prenatal class in my community that my thoughts and feelings towards myself changed.
I looked around the class, and 90% of the women attending were not in my age group. They were older, appeared more established, and they were what I imagined “experience” looked like. Why were they here in a class for the “inexperienced”? The answer – they were just as lost as I was. At least when it came to pregnancy and childbirth, and all that comes with it. And that’s okay. As a new mom, young or old, you will face so many things from so many angles for the first time. We’re all inexperienced as new moms, but it doesn’t mean we will fail.
After baby girl came, I learned a lot of things I didn’t know I needed to know. That’s the thing with inexperience, huh? I had learned how to care for my changing body, how to care for this new being, and how to do it well. What I hadn’t learned were things like boundaries and putting myself first so that I could be a present mom and wife and still be me. These are just as important. I started to realize that maybe I was a little inexperienced. Not just as a mom raising children but in life. This is one of the disadvantages of being a young mom. Often, we haven’t been faced with challenges that require us to develop these skills. I was faced with them smack dab in the middle of my journey-I already had a husband and now a little one, so I couldn’t step away and gather myself and take my time learning these things. I needed to figure it out now and put them in place immediately, or I would eventually fail. You can’t pour into anything or anyone if you are empty.
Sacrifices Are Hard But Necessary
It was one thing being in a committed relationship as a young woman. Becoming a young mom was another. Even though I was in a committed relationship, I still had the time, the energy, and in turn, the freedom to do things the same ole way. Hanging out with friends was easier. Doing the little things I loved, like going shopping or randomly getting some peace at the beach, was more manageable. Similarly, I missed out on different things I wanted to be a part of—the college experience, various events, etc.
My priorities had shifted, and rightfully so. It wasn’t all about me anymore. In the end, I lost friends. It was a hard sacrifice but a necessary one. We had different priorities and what was important to them was no longer important to me. We could no longer relate to one another. Now, I didn’t lose ALL my friends. Looking back, the ones that remained then are the same ones I have now. Though unpleasant at the time, this sifting led me to stronger relationships with the people who remained. I also believe that God was protecting me from myself by choosing between what culture said was expected and what my normal needed to be.
Staying Connected is Essential
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.” John 15:4
As I walked through each of these, the most important thing I learned was to stay connected to Jesus, my friends and family, and other young moms raising their children. The community and support held me together, even when I let go. It will do the same for you if you let it.
That’s what my heart is for JasmineDiane.co. To build a place where young women see themselves. As wives, moms, and as daughters of the One True King.
What’s something you’ve learned or even struggled with as a young mom? Comment below!
XOXO JD
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Melody Porter says
I could feel that the words can straight from your heart. Which is why you’re destined for success. I watching to see what God does through you!