Have you ever heard the saying “You can’t pour out of an empty cup”? Maybe you’ve been feeling like the empty cup lately – lack of energy, no motivation, or just a complete lack of desire to do anything? But the tasks keep coming. The children still need you. Your house still needs to be cleaned. The list can go on and on and on. After a season of feeling like my gas tank was always empty, I began to realize that I was throwing myself into crazy routines day after day. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I was running and rushing to get somewhere and get something done. The problem with this is that you canNOT survive this way. You have to position yourself in a way that allows you to be poured into before you can pour into others, and there’s a right and wrong way to do this when you’re a mom, a wife, a team member, a woman wearing multiple hats like most of us do. I’ll explain…
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How to Put Yourself First-The Right Way
A few days ago, I asked a question on Instagram – “What comes to mind when you think of self-care? In preparation for this post, I wanted to see what came to mind for most women.
It’s typically a day of pampering, a shopping spree, or a night out with friends. This is a form of self-care, but so is taking care of yourself spiritually, physically, and mentally and showing up for yourself on the daily. In 3 Tips to Help You Prioritize and Reignite Your Faith in God, I shared my favorite tips for giving yourself a jumpstart each day by investing in yourself in these areas and prioritizing your faith.
This is true self-care. This is how you put yourself first by making time regularly for yourself. It isn’t about putting your needs and wants above those of others. In fact, it’s the opposite. You make this time for yourself so that you can be better in all the areas of your life. There’s a delicate balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. They are all intertwined, and the sooner we understand that caring for ourselves isn’t selfish; it’s a necessity, the sooner we can be present and be the amazing woman God has called us to be.
For example, taking the time daily to pray, worship, journal, and spend time with God and His Word is what gives us the fuel for life. It’s impossible to rise up to what He has called us to be without Him. And it’s impossible to spend this time with Him if you don’t make room. Making room often means reprioritizing and even taking items off our list of priorities. And that’s okay. We often try to build Rome in a day, leaving us stressed, exhausted, and unproductive. Clearing out our schedule is hard – but it’s not impossible. Later, I’ll share the three things I do regularly to maintain myself, my family, and my business.
Similarly, if we ignore our health, it’s impossible to be there for our families and friends. So when I’m struggling to decide between spending time working out or putting that time into other areas – I choose to workout. Why? Because the exercise does wonders for me mentally and physically. I have more energy, clarity; I’m happier and healthier. Showing up as a wife and mom who is happy, energetic, and level-headed beats showing up tired, grumpy, and with mommy brain on 1000%. My family not only benefits from “happy mommy,” but they are also learning how important it is to care for themselves. My daughter looks forward to morning yoga before class or listening to The Big Life Kids Podcast while having her snacks. I love that taking this time for myself sets an amazing example for her to follow.
While putting yourself first is beneficial for you and everyone around you. It isn’t always glamorous or an easy habit to develop. Making time for yourself takes a ton of intentionality to add into the routine of homeschooling, caring for your toddler, running a business (or two), being a present wife, all the things we juggle. It is tough work, but it is work that will allow you to experience life purposefully. For me, I try to take time for myself first thing in the morning because once I step into the chaos of being a mompreneur, homeschooling, and keeping up with an energetic toddler, there’s usually no turning back. Your circumstances are different. Maybe it’s more practical for you to take time in the middle of the day or even at the end of the day when you can finally hear yourself think.
It doesn’t matter WHEN you do it as long as you do.
Earlier I promised to share three tips to help you make room for yourself. These tips are helping me get a grasp on reality and make room for the things I need to fill me up again.
3 Tips to Help You Put Yourself First & Increase Productivity
#1 Plan Out Your Days
I would be a basket case without my planner. I take time weekly and daily to look at the tasks I need to complete and determine when I’m actually going to complete them. Looking at the bigger picture helps me to give myself grace. I’m often hard on myself when I haven’t done all the chores and all the to-dos, but the truth is, I can’t get it all done in one day. Instead, I clean the house on Saturdays because that’s what works for me. I do laundry on Sundays because that’s what works for me. Yes, the baskets get full and sometimes even spill over, but I stuff them in and say, “I’ll see you on Sunday.” I do the same thing for homeschooling, running my businesses, and keeping up with family life.
I’m a big fan of the Live Whale planners as they give you space to see the big picture on a monthly, weekly, and daily basis and include room for you to reflect on the way God is moving in your life. I’m currently using a FranklinCovey planner. I’ll admit that the Live Whale planner is more affordable since you have to purchase the pages and a binder for the planner I’m using, but for everything I have happening in my life, this gives me the space I need. Knowing when things are happening allows me to plan time to be alone accordingly. Not in a way that disrupts my home or life, in a way that adds to it.
#2 Set Boundaries
Confession time – I need some help in this area. Night after night, I find myself working on the blog or completing items on my to-do list. I find it’s tough to set boundaries for yourself when you work, live, and play in the same space. It’s so easy for school to run over into work which rolls over into time with my husband, etc. But it shouldn’t be that way. Set a schedule for yourself; perhaps you work between 9 am-3:00 pm Monday-Friday. Or you homeschool between 10:00 am-1:00 pm daily. Giving yourself boundaries means giving yourself time and permission to take that hat off.
#3 Tackle the Hardest Task First
Whether it’s working out, reviewing sight words, or finishing a load of laundry. Whatever task you’re most anxious about, pray over it, and get it done.
“Action cures fear, inaction creates terror.” – Doug Horton
Beautiful, it’s okay to take time for yourself. It’s vital that you put yourself first in the right way. I know this subject is tricky, and it’s hard to find the balance that works best for you in your life.
Can I pray with you?
Father,
I pray over every woman who comes across this page looking for peace and calmness in her life. Thank you for leading her here to a place where she is welcome to be herself, just as You made her. Take the words I have written through experience and struggles and filter them through what You have for her. Your ways are higher than my ways, Lord. May she understand that apart from You, we can do nothing. As she processed and ponders ways to get a grip and move forward, don’t let her lose sight of You. Thank you for the peace and transformation that come only from being in Your presence.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I want to hear from you! How do you make time for yourself?
Comment below!
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